Resources for Couples
Military Couples All relationships require maintenance – even the good ones – and the logistics of military life can add challenges. Military OneSource offers several resources to help you keep the bonds in your life strong. From friendships to romantic relationships and parent-child connections, you have expert support to repair rifts and rebuild better.
Podcasts
Books - Marriage & Relationships
Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel
One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Esther Perel
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages?
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - John Gottman, PhD & Nan Silver
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage - John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Joan Declair
The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
And Baby Makes Three: Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives- John & Julie Gottman
John and Julie Gottman teach couples to avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: focusing on intimacy and romance, replacing an atmosphere of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation, preventing postpartum depression, creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby.
The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work - Terrence Real
Women have changed in the last 25 years - they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Real offers women a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve.
Fierce Intimacy - Terrence Real. (Audiobook Only)
What does it take for couples to sustain love? How can you deepen your relationship even when you and your partner disagree, fight, or let each other down? “Intimacy isn’t something you have. It’s something you do”, teaches Terry Real.
The Dance of Anger - Harriet Lerner
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. Dr. Lerner teaches us to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships - Sue Johnson
Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" -- our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more.
Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After - Katherine Woodward Thomas
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. There is a path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring.
The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships - Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships, be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love - Dr. Sue Johnson
The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples - Harville Hendrix PhD & Helen Hunt PhD
Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt explain how to revive romance and remove negativity from daily interactions, to help you: discover why you chose your mate, resolve the power struggle that prevents greater intimacy, learn to listen - really listen - to your partner, increase fun and laughter in your relationship, begin healing early childhood experiences by stretching into new behaviors, become passionate friends with your partner, and achieve a common vision of your dream relationship.
Polyamory:
Poly Secure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy - Jessica Fern
Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Polyamory - Franklin Veaux, Eve Rickert
Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in the popular polyamory website morethantwo.com.
One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Esther Perel
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages?
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - John Gottman, PhD & Nan Silver
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage - John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Joan Declair
The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
And Baby Makes Three: Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives- John & Julie Gottman
John and Julie Gottman teach couples to avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: focusing on intimacy and romance, replacing an atmosphere of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation, preventing postpartum depression, creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby.
The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work - Terrence Real
Women have changed in the last 25 years - they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Real offers women a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve.
Fierce Intimacy - Terrence Real. (Audiobook Only)
What does it take for couples to sustain love? How can you deepen your relationship even when you and your partner disagree, fight, or let each other down? “Intimacy isn’t something you have. It’s something you do”, teaches Terry Real.
The Dance of Anger - Harriet Lerner
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. Dr. Lerner teaches us to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships - Sue Johnson
Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" -- our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more.
Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After - Katherine Woodward Thomas
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. There is a path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring.
The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships - Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships, be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love - Dr. Sue Johnson
The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples - Harville Hendrix PhD & Helen Hunt PhD
Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt explain how to revive romance and remove negativity from daily interactions, to help you: discover why you chose your mate, resolve the power struggle that prevents greater intimacy, learn to listen - really listen - to your partner, increase fun and laughter in your relationship, begin healing early childhood experiences by stretching into new behaviors, become passionate friends with your partner, and achieve a common vision of your dream relationship.
Polyamory:
Poly Secure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy - Jessica Fern
Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Polyamory - Franklin Veaux, Eve Rickert
Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in the popular polyamory website morethantwo.com.
Ted Talks - Marriage & Relationships
Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved. Esther Perel. Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.
The secret to desire in a long-term relationship Esther Perel. In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
The Science of Love. John Gottman. Gottman then measured the behavior, perception and physiology of couples over time to understand how love works. With that he was able to create equations for love and discern the mathematical dynamics of love. His science was able to predict with a 90% accuracy whether relationships would last or not. Finally, his studies conclude that the magic of love requires calm and commitment, which in the end makes the magic of great love a bit less of a mystery.
The secret to desire in a long-term relationship Esther Perel. In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
The Science of Love. John Gottman. Gottman then measured the behavior, perception and physiology of couples over time to understand how love works. With that he was able to create equations for love and discern the mathematical dynamics of love. His science was able to predict with a 90% accuracy whether relationships would last or not. Finally, his studies conclude that the magic of love requires calm and commitment, which in the end makes the magic of great love a bit less of a mystery.